Since you're gone my empty arms have nothing left to hold

(yay I'm doing good at this yes)

Under the cut: book spoilers (also for ADWD) and endless Tully fangirling. Also: if you like Talisa, don't like Jaime and don't like Theon don't bother, thanks so very much. Also: I'm discussing non consensual sexual situations related matters so thread carefully.

1. Okay. Overall: we're doing a lot better than I had expected. BUT, there were a couple of utterly wtf things, so let's get over with them first.

2. Listen, show, I realize that the actress playing Ros needs to do something on here because she has a contract and that you have a naked quota to meet if you want to air (I suppose), but jfc I'm this sick of five minutes of naked women parts paraded around when that scene could last a lot less. And if we really need to have pointless sexposition, can some man that is NOT Alfie Allen (especially this season, because I don't doubt he's gonna get naked but IN THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE IT) get naked too for once? Thank you. I mean, at least make it fair and let us poor heterosexual women ogle at naked bits too, yes?

3. Okay, premise: I don't hate Melisandre or anything - she's not my cup of tea in the books but she's not in the list of people I'd like to see dead either - but in this show... is she becoming the Talisa 2.0 with Stannis? Because okay uhm I could more or less explain myself Stannis being mostly OOC in the premiere, but now it looks like he's legitimately attracted to Melisandre and he actually has a *thing* for her and he'd be willing to betray his wife with her because omg he's whipped and... uuuuh.... no? Like, damn, I actually thing that Stannis/Mel was a thing in the books or at least heavily implied, but I always read it as 'he does it because it's the only way he has of gaining power/whatever it is that sleeping with Mel makes him gain' and he doesn't enjoy it or has a thing for Mel or ANYTHING like that so... uuuh... er... no? Again? Like, I'm nowhere near a Stannis expert so I can't really put this in better words but that scene they had reeked of OOC to me.

Oh, also: why does he want Robb and Joffrey dead and not Balon too? Like uh er everyone who hasn't read the book will find it very misleading and it's just going to get Stannis some more hate - can we just not? Damn, I'm not supposed to be worrying about Stannis, wtf.

4. Same as point two re Talisa: listen, I realize Oona has a contract and she has to do something, and I appreciate that at least this round Talisa wasn't near either Robb or Cat and therefore none of them was acting too OOC, but can you stop having her just doing all the good things like being nice to children and etcetera? Like does this woman have ONE flaw? No one in ASOIAF is that perfect ffs. She just sticks out like a sore thumb, ugh.

5. Er uh sorry did I miss the part where Robb was actually in contact with Riverrun? I mean, they don't mention these people for two seasons and the moment they meet Robb is angry at Edmure because he fucked things regarding Gregor Clegane so it was implied that they were actually fighting together? When did they mention that at Riverrun they were fighting for Robb? Did I miss that? Because it just felt like they missed a piece of the story or something.

6. Okay, on to good things. TULLYS. TUUUULLLYYYSSSSSS. I HAD BEEN WANTING THIS SINCE FOREVER BUT DFHKJDSFHDFJHK. Riverrun is perfect. Edmure is perfect (awww you're such a little shit but ilu also for that sjhdaskjk <33333). ALSO OMG THE BLACKFISH IS JUST SO FLAWLESS THE ACTOR IS PERFECT AND THE COSTUME WAS LOVELY AND EVERYTHING HE DID/SAID WAS FLAWLESS AND NO SERIOUSLY PEOPLE THE BLACKFISH IS LIKE IN MY TOP TEN ASOIAF CHARACTERS FOREVER LET ME JUST FLAIL AT THIS :DDDDDDDD \o/

Also, on to serious things: his scene with Cat was veryvery good also because they managed to cram some Tully family history into it and actually they did it pretty well. And OMG CAT. YES. FINALLY. At least someone remembered that Tullys are supposed to be about family, duty and honor? ;) no because YES finally that was a scene I could get behind and yes to everything ;___; seriously the Cat feelings I'm getting this season are something serious. When she broke down in tears about Bran and Rickon I kind of totally died ;__; (and ugh I love that she's still so close to her relatives even if they haven't seen each other in forever ALL MY TULLY FEELINGS)

7. Robb seems fairly back to himself - for the moment. Even if I totally don't get the whole part where he and Edmure had an alliance, but okay. Probably because Talisa wasn't there with her OOC powers, but at least *that's* the Robb Stark I sort of remember. Now if we go on like this I can work with it. More or less.

8. HOT PIE ;____; THAT WAS SUCH A LOVELY SCENE OMG SJDFHSDJKFHSKFH HE GAVE ARYA A WOLF-SHAPED BREAD I CAN'T ;___;

(can we have Sam and Hot Pie ruling Westeros thanks)

9. Jon's scene looked like they put it there so that we don't forget he exists but it totally could have been there last episode tbh. Or in the next.

10. Dany's SL looks better than last year's (yay). That said the main effect it's having on me is making me want to ship Jorah and Barristan.

Just - send help.

11. JAIME.

JAIMEJAIMEJAIME.

AND BRIENNE.

AND JAIME.

First: those two bickering while chained to each other after being captured was priceless. like seriously sure you get captured and YOU BEHAVE LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE, LOGIC. Also: I'm so fucking glad they kept the scene where Jaime tells her to just go away inside and think of Renly fdskjfhdks I should hope that people who think he's a dick without morals might have started noticing that there's not all there is to him. (I'm so ready for people to jump on his team. I'M SO READY.) But other than that the other scene was doing so very well (even if they pushed it before it actually happen in the book but SEE SHOW, IF YOU MAKE CHANGES THAT STILL MAKE SENSE I'M DOWN WITH THEM YOU KNOW) - ugh between Brienne not following his advice and fighting back (GO BRIENNE) and Jaime saving her ass even if he didn't have to I was about to die in squeeing for how good they did it ;___; also the way they looked at each other when they brought her back jsdfhsdjkf. I shall miss the 'thappireth', but still.

Now, on to serious things: I loved how in the first scene they had Brienne questioning Jaime's skill with swords (which is pretty much the *one* think he thinks he has going for himself) and in the last he effectively has the sword hand cut (UGH WHEN HE SCREAMED DDDDDD:) after he gets told that he's nothing without his family name - sorry Jaime, your brother had better luck when he talked his way out of imprisonment - but seriously when they went from Jaime being all satisfied that he managed to get somehow free-ish to OPS SORRY THAT WAS YOUR HAND WELL IT'S NOT ANYMORE I think my heart broke DDD: JAIMEEE. D: if next week I have the 'don't be so craven' conversation I'll probably just die in squee and forgive them a lot of crap they still seem to be wanting to pull but seriously I'm so so glad that they're getting this part as right as it goes.

Also HOW DID THEY DO THE CASTING SO WELL UGH. I'm in love with their acting ;___;

(also WHERE CAN I BUY THAT VERSION OF THE BEAR AND THE MAIDEN FAIR)

12. On to less squeeful-ish things.

Theon.

Haha. All right. Uh. I still think I'm mildly sick, though not in the bad way - I mean, I was spoiled for the attempted rape and the rest, but if someone doesn't give Alfie awards this season it's a travesty. I wanted to vomit mostly because *he* sounded like he wanted to vomit, during that specific scene. ugh.

Anyway, that said: I've read some opinions around which are all more or less like 'it was unnecessary/gross' 'what the fuck are they doing' 'why is this happening it wasn't in the book'. Now: nothing that happens between now and next season was in the book anyway if you don't count Theon reminiscing about things in ADWD and not even doing it in detail (thank fuck), so obviously they're going to have to come up with plausible shit that might have gone down other than the few things we know for sure (also it's not like this guy can turn into Reek in ONE WEEK ffs). (Also I sincerely hope that Theon's ADWD stuff begins next season because I can't possibly take TWO seasons of torturing. Okay, that stated.) Also: in ADWD it said pretty clearly that Theon tried to escape more than once (one was with Kyra but I'm pretty sure he mentioned others) and that each time he was *hunted* down. At this point, since book!Ramsay *did* set him free just to get him back all over again... well, if show!Ramsay frees him, sends his men after him and then kills them all just so that he can gain Theon's trust and fuck him over even worse, then it seems perfectly coherent to me. Like, book!Ramsay totally would have done that. (Also the Bolton man telling him 'you little bastard' probably meant that they had no clue that he would/could *kill* them, which still makes total sense to me. Also YAY FOR CONFIRMATION THAT THE GUY IS IN FACT RAMSAY - well I didn't have doubts but I'm reading theories about him not being really Ramsay and I'm totally not buying them. Not to mention the 'WINTER IS COMING' UUGGGGHHHHHHHH DON'T DO THIS TO ME.) The attempted raping... well, it wasn't really clear if it had been Ramsay ordering it or no (doesn't matter since he would have killed the other men regardless), but considering that a) in ADWD there's a texual scene where Ramsay *does* rape Theon even if he doesn't technically touch him [as far as we saw] [Ramsay's wedding night if anyone's wondering] b) I'm 99,9% sure that it was implied that it had happened before during the part that we didn't see, and considering that doing *that* to Theon (who always thought that his prowess in bed was proof of his worth which just says everything) is pretty much the worst thing you could do to him... well, I don't entirely see it as unnecessarily gross. It didn't happen (for now), but it set the mood because it's probably going to happen later and it's going to be much worse, not to mention that if they go the whole way with Ramsay's creepiness and his thing about Theon being *just his* then it's just going to make more twisted sense later (since he wouldn't let others do it). And other than that... er, every episode including Theon from now on is probably going to outgross the one before so I suppose I'm ready not to be surprised at anything. I'm also ready to feel like vomiting every time he has screen time, but that's another point entirely. D:

I also sincerely hope I don't run into anyone saying that he deserved it or that it was funny because it was everything but. D: the thing is that as far as it is, and considering that they didn't introduce Ramsay in S2, they're handling this storyline very plausibly (seeing ADWD) so I can't even be angry at them. I'll just go and write fluff fic for the rest of the season. DDDD: also: I'll officially never be able to see Misfits. I'd probably cower in fear every time Iwan Rheon's face showed up. :/

13. In conclusion: the good parts were *veryvery good*, the wtf parts were absolutely pointless but the good mostly outweighed the WTF, and it looks like they have a better grasp of what they're doing than last season. But that stated I'm really this close to be done with all the gratuitous sexposition.

Then again, as long as I keep the Blackfish forever I can deal with the rest.